Good day, my dear Friend!
Have you ever wondered if you are a Great Parent? If there was a competition for the nomination of the Number One Father of the Year or the Most Fantastic Mother in your community, would you have what it takes to WIN this nomination or would you at least try to participate? What criteria would you have to meet in order to receive the Golden Medal of a GREAT PARENT?
A Conversation with a Stranger
I remember talking to a lady at the airport who told me the story of her life in ten minutes, and for nine minutes of her story she was complaining to me about her heartless, selfish mother, who never praised her and often called her an idiot, messy and lazy. In the midst of our conversation, or to be more precise of the lady’s monologue, her daughter came up to her asking for a tissue because she had spilled juice on her blue dress. The lady gave her seven-year-old an angry look and said to me, without getting up from her chair: “Imagine, she spilled juice on her new dress!” Then the mother turned back to her daughter and whispered in a way that I could hear every word: “Why can’t you be like normal kids? Like an idiot, you just makes a mess everywhere you go!” The girl dropped her head and walked away defeated and ashamed.
What I Wanted to Tell Her
The airport announced that my flight was boarding and I was ready to leave, but I thought I’d give her a piece of my unsolicited wisdom before I go. So I asked: “Can I be honest with you?” She said: “Yes, of course, tell me.” “I am a parent and I have made many mistakes, and one thing that helped is being aware of how my parents affected me as an adult and how I was affecting my kids. We, as parents, have the power to either build our children up or break them and set them up for failure. I had to notice my destructive behavior as a parent and worked on it. Believe it or not, even though my sons are adults now, I still say or do things as a parent that I am not proud of. It usually happens when I feel down or stressed out. When we stress – we regress. We can be the best parents and role models when we practice self-care as parents and stay balanced.”
Then I added: “l am really sorry that your mother called you an idiot, but now you are calling your daughter an idiot, which makes you an idiot mother. I am sorry your mother called you lazy. You believed her words and even today you keep that belief alive and behave lazily. You did not even get up and take your stressed out daughter to the washroom and help her clean up. I feel bad that your mother called you messy, but please take it out of your head and do not mess up your own parenting by embarrassing your daughter in front of others. Your mother told you maybe twenty or thirty years ago and you still blame her and live by her program.
We Have the Power to Break Bad Parenting Cycle
“Guess what, you do have the power to break that cycle and stop blaming your mother, who probably did not know any better. Start thinking of WHAT YOU REALLY WANTED AS A CHILD and give it to your child unconditionally, daily, with love and affection. To which she answered: “But it is not easy to be a parent. What if I mess up again?” “I am sure you will,” I said, “because every human makes mistakes, and when you do mess up again, don’t be so hard on yourself. Just keep reading, watching and learning more about how to understand kids, how to motivate them and how to praise and raise them into confident and happy adults. Once you put your attention into becoming a better parent, with time and practice you will get better at it. Remember: where attention goes – energy flows – RESULT SHOWS!”
After my plane took off, I looked at the fluffy and pure clouds in the sky and imagined the moment when, one day, the lady’s daughter would bring her a hand-made Golden Medal of the Most Fantastic Mother. How she would look into her mom’s eyes, hug her with all her warmth and whisper in her ear: “You are my Most Favorite Person in the whole world… I want to be like you!” To which the mother would reply: “The most important thing, my princess, is that you will be very very happy, loved and respected by others. You don’t need to be like me or any other person – you are unique and very special!”
Start Positive Programming Today
In that moment, I realized that during those brief moments of connection when, from the bottom of our hearts, we say positive and uplifting things to our children, the most powerful programming of their brain takes place. It is never too late to be the Greatest Father or the Most Fantastic Mother for your child and program their little brains for success and love. Why not start today? Even if it is only five minutes of positive reassurance! Sometimes five minutes is enough to create a Miracle.
Be the parent who creates miracles in your child’s world.